You thought I was worth saving, You thought I was to die for…some of the lyrics to a song by Anthony Brown and Group Therapy called “Worth”. This song is quite popular having laid claim to the #1 spot and now is currently #2 on the Billboard Top Hot Gospel Song charts! A well deserved achievement because it is a prolific song that pulls at the heart strings of many, including my own! A profound song that serves as an answer to my heart’s cry and is now a new declaration for my life!
You see, all of my life I’ve looked for someone to validate me and tell me I was worthy! Growing up without my father being a constant in my life caused me to develop a void. This void made me feel worthless. I felt like maybe I wasn’t good enough for my father to be there for me the way that I needed or wanted him to be. And so this void, this need for validation from somebody, especially those close to me, caused me to develop a mindset that hindered me from truly valuing my own worth.
I was looking for somebody to love me enough that they were willing to take care of me, fight for me, protect me and sacrifice for me! I placed those very high expectations on my father, my mother, my husband, sometimes my children and anybody else who said they loved or cared about me! And when these people weren’t able to meet these expectations for me, I cut them off or closed them out! I figured if I wasn’t worth it enough for them to meet my expectations then they weren’t worthy of my time, attention, support and love! Somebody say WRONG!
Here are some things I had to realize:
- When I give of myself unconditionally, it will come back to me! I cannot place conditions on how, if, when and why I am to give of my time, attention, support and love to others. You truly do reap what you sow!
- I have to express to my loved ones what my expectations are! I can’t make the mistake of assuming they should automatically know what I need or want from them. It has been said we teach people how to treat us!
- My loved ones can only give to me what they’re capable of giving. Perhaps my loved ones have voids and issues in their own lives that prohibit them from being able to fully function in their roles. Remember nobody is perfect!
- The only one I should expect to meet all of my expectations, needs, wants and desires is my Heavenly Father! He promised He would be everything that I needed Him to be and He has made good on His promise!
He loves me, He sacrificed His life for me, He’s fought for me, He’s taken care of me, He’s provided for me, He’s protected me and He did it all because He thought that I was WORTH it!